And so it goes...

At the Rockefeller Tree

Well, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. All this waiting and anxiety to go home and see my family is finally about to come to a close and I will see them all tomorrow. :) I can't wait. Good luck to me trying to sleep tonight. haha.

It has been a very interesting past couple of weeks. Hard times and good times. I'll just focus on the good because I honestly forgot most of the bad. See, it wasn't even that important.

What I'm finding interesting is how some New Yorkers are spreading the Christmas spirit. They ask for directions and respond with "Thank you, Merry Christmas." They hold a door for you, you say thank you, they say "Merry Christmas." Random conversations are struck up while waiting in lines or for the subway which always end with a "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays." I love it. I love the sincerity and how genuine everyone is. Of course, there's just as many Scrooge's out there that push you out of the way to get where they need to go because they're consistently late and their life sucks blah blah, but the good definitely outweighs the bad here. I wish people were nice like this all the time. It's not so hard to flash a little smile and say hello or have a good day instead of having a grim face all day. I tell you, if more people smiled and laughed, this world would be such a different place. If I could live in a place with Christmas all year round, I would move there in a second...and hopefully there'd be a beach. :)


My friend Valerie and I headed out to Rockefeller Center last week to check out the tree and all of the decorations. First off, wow. Absolutely beautiful. Secondly, OH MY GOSH THE PEOPLE. There were so many people you could barely walk. You had to squeeze through people to get by. So, we went to the other side and watched the little area decorated with angels and other lights. Then headed down to the ice rink to look at the skaters and the tree. It was really a magical moment, as cheesy as that may sound. It was something you see in movies, but never really experience it, but I did that night. It definitely got me more into the Christmas mood.

Valerie and I at Rockefeller Center

Next we looked at Saks 5th Ave, which was across street, and the entire side of the building was covered with snowflakes. The the windows were each decorated with a part of the story from "Mike the snowflake." Really cool. Then we headed down 5th Ave to check out all the decorations in the windows and on the buildings of Tiffany's, Cartier, Louis Vuitton, etc. It was quite a great night and really amazing to experience.

Saks Fifth Ave.

I saw The Seagull on Broadway on Thursday night. This was the one show I have been wanting to see for a while and it was a limited engagement and actually closed on Sunday. So, I made my way up to 48th St. and Broadway early in the morning when the box office opened to buy myself a student ticket...and it was soooo worth the $25. When I saw the show at the MXAT in Moscow, I was so disappointed. But this production, I was thrilled with! There were obviously some acting/directing choices I may not have agreed with, like with any show, but overall loved it. One of the things that was really impressive was how they found the comedy within the plot of the play. The play is very depressing, all about being a disgrace in one's life, life doesn't mean anything, they hate themselves and everyone else, and most productions focus on these aspects and it makes for a boring production. Chekhov actually wrote the play as a comedy and for these lines to be delivered in a way that makes you laugh. They found the comedy in almost every line and had the audience's attention the entire three hours. The standout for me was Kristen Scott Thomas who played the role of the selfish, fame-thriving mother Arkadina. She was absolutely brilliant and lived the role so truthfully and believably. She was so interesting - everything had meaning, from the flick of a wrist to the intonation in a way she said a word. Breathtaking and beautiful. It was so nice to see such an amazing piece of theatre.

I found out my two friends that graduated with me from Wayne State, Holly and Jeremy, will be coming up to New York the 29th-2nd. They're helping move a friend back up here and driving with her to New York. So, they're going to stay with me from the 30th til they leave. I'm so excited to have friends in the city visiting me. I'll have to work everyday1-5, but that's ok. There's so much to do in the city anyway it doesn't even matter. They don't need me. On New Year's Eve we plan on going to Times Square and ringing in the New Year together. Afterward, my friend Taylor is holding a New Years Eve Party so we might head over there. They also want to see a show while they're here, so we might do that as well. It's going to be a lot of fun.

See you tomorrow if you're in the D! If now, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :)

I am a FRIENDS addict.

Four Christmases ago, Santa left me all ten seasons of FRIENDS under my stocking. I was in heaven. My favorite television show was now off the air after ten seasons, but I owned every episode to watch at my leisure. Throughout these past four years, I have watched the series as a whole 4 times, but have also put episodes on randomly. Does this mean I'm some sort of nerd? Probably. But that's 0k. Everyone has their thing - mine just happens to be this series. When living in Detroit, we didn't have cable. So, if we had a break for lunch or dinner in our busy schedule, we popped on a Friends episode. Love it.

It's interesting how something that meant one thing can have a whole different meaning at a different time. What this series was to me then as it is to me now, is so different. The series, as you may or may not know, takes place in New York. I'm understanding certain lines better, I know the places they are talking about, little comments pertaining to New York make more sense; it's so cool. I just finished the first episode of Season 8 where Rachel finds out she's pregnant, and there's this line that she has after Phoebe lies to her and says the pregnancy test was negative to see what her reaction would be: "How can I be upset over something I never had?" Wow. First off, what a great scene. Secondly, what a true statement, and it can be applied to everyone everywhere. So often, we spend so much of our time focusing on the could have been's and the would have been's or the future, that we frequently forget about the present. What about what you do have? What about the people that are there for you now? When was the last time you were truly content? You pay your bills, you have a loving family, you have a car, the luxury of buying a Starbucks coffee if you really want it; you may not be rich, live in a giant mansion, or fly to Italy every spring, but you're breathing. What more could you ask for? You can't be upset over something you never had. Be happy with the present because in essence - it's all you truly have. The past is past and the future isn't now. Of course have goals, but don't pass up your existence in the present moment because before you know it, it'll be gone.

Having an education is truly a blessing, and I'm just beginning to realize how valuable it really is. I always took it for granted - go to school, then high school, then college, then probably grad school. Get the A's, be on the honor roll, get the scholarships. All of this was always a given, and I know it's because my parents value education very strongly, which they should. I never realized how common it is for people to choose work over school, or to just squeeze by in their classes to pass, not necessarily caring about the grade just as long as they pass. I don't understand that, personally. If you're paying all this money, why not show up to class, do the homework, Ace the tests, do the research...Why would you want to go out into the world after you graduated with the basic understanding of your field when you could have gained an extensive knowledge by putting in a little effort? Call me an overachiever if you want, but I couldn't imagine not even trying. Good thing my parents put a good head on my shoulders. I just can't wait to be able to use my skills in the world. I'm pretty sure working at Macy's is making me dumber...and angrier. ha. So many rude people, con artists that throw fits because you won't exchange their fake clothing, and people who don't understand that when there's not a "sale" sign on one item it means it's not on sale. Ok, so maybe angry was a bad word choice, but annoyed, frustrated, irritated, and aggravated certainly fit the bill. It's amazing how I only work four hours and in that four hours I get enough people that get to me that by the time I leave I have a headache out of frustration. Whatever.

I met another neighbor today. Her name was Friday. So, I know Cookie and Friday. I used to know Kaleeah, but she moved to Connecticut. Oh, I also met Shandy, who lives on the first floor. I think I should legally change my name to Dequindre, pronounced De-kwon-dray. That's what my friends in the D call me anyway. Or Francesco. Something exotic. Well, I guess Frank is kind of exotic for Brooklyn. I'll keep my name.

Julie's aunt sent us a little fake Christmas tree. I love the Christmas season. it's funny because it doesn't really feel like Christmas yet. Maybe it's the weather, I'm not sure. Here, it's been fairly warm, and it rained the past two days. My past experience with Christmas was that it snowed, or was really cold, and that it didn't feel like spring. I'm not complaining, it's just throwing me off guard a little bit.

My newlywed friends, Crystal and Pete, officially moved from Chicago to LA two weeks ago. How fascinating. I was thinking today while walking down 34th Street about how crazy life turns out. Before, I only knew people in Michigan, except for my Uncle Tony in Florida. Now, I have acquaintances and friends all over the country, the world for that matter. How insane to think of the little shows and skits I would put on as a young kid with the neighbors and Danielle and now I'm living in New York City attempting to put that to work. How surreal, and yet it's life.

I think it's time for a break. It's about that time again where I'm starting to get frustrated with things and people for no apparent reason. This is about the time that I need to see family and friends from home. So, thank goodness in 12 days i will be there. :) In the meantime, I'll just breathe and take each moment for what it is.

I hope I don't fall asleep on Christmas Eve. I mean, I'd have been up since 6am that morning and then jet legged because of the two hour flight home. I'll be fine earlier in the day, but last time I had plans on the same day as a flight, I was in class and was literally falling asleep as I was moving around the room doing the exercises. oops. Well, we'll see what happens. If anything, I'll be shaking because I drank so much coffee. Or, I'll take a nap before I go to Aunty Ann's and Aunty Mary's and then Grandma's. I get to see Taylor also, and Leah of course. I haven't seen Taylor since Halloween weekend except for in pictures and she's getting so big so fast! So beautiful.

Ok, well, I'd love to write more, but I'm kind out of ideas because I'm tired and I've had this episode of Friends paused since I began writing this. So, good night. And I leave you with this:

"I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too...."

Bring on the rain

Yesterday it rained...a lot. It wasn't like horrible monsoons or anything, but enough to be annoying. However, the temperature was like it was spring out - 60 degrees or something. Not bad, kinda crazy for the middle of December.

Macy's still isn't getting any busier - even with Friends and Family week beginning yesterday. Hopefully things will be different today. Oh, and I looked at my paystub for this Friday. I officially hate taxes.

Last night I met up with a couple friends from Grosse Pointe on the upper west side, as well as one of my friends from work. We went to this bar on Amsterdam and 79th and between 9 and 11 bud light or coors cans were only 50 cents. That kind of night I can afford. haha. It was a really cool environment and I was hanging out out with good people. It kind of reminded me of a frat college type bar. There was a pool table in the back and it was just loud with cool music playing. It was a nice change.

Julie and I rented Narnia: Prince Caspian the other day. Wow. What a great movie. I really liked the first one and have been wanting to see this one, but I never really have time to see movies. It was really good. I recommend it to anyone that hasn't seen it. Tonight we're renting The Dark Knight because I haven't seen that either. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the universe that hasn't seen that movie, but after tonight, I won't be. :)

I'm going to be making myself a schedule soon - sort of like a class schedule - to make sure I'm continuing to better myself through this break between semesters. For example, maybe one night work on monologues, dialects, another on stretching and dancing, another on movement and character, and so on. I think it will be beneficial and make use of my time off. I need to do something. Working at Macy's is not stimulating enough. However, one day I was talking to some customers from London and I ended up talking in response to them with an english accent without realzing it - the entire rest of the time I was helping them. I don't know if they realized it either. Anyway, now my manager wants me to come in and do accents with the customers because he thinks we'll get more sales if I can relate to them on a different level by saying I'm from London also. haha. He wants me to bring in different accents too. It'll be fun. We'll see.

Julie and I walked along the Brooklyn Bridge on Tuesday. It was so nice out and this was something we both wanted to do. It was a pretty nice walk, and the Manhattan skyline was pretty incredible behind us. We walked from Manhattan to Brooklyn and then took the subway back to the apartment. I was thinking while walking across it how much we take certain things for granted - like bridges. That thing is so big. I can't imagine how it was build it. Insane. Anyway, I'm grateful for the bridge builders. :) What a weird rant I just went on.

On the Brooklyn Bridge.

On the Brooklyn Bridge with the Manhattan skyline behind me.

At some point this week I'm going to head over to Rockefellar and see the tree and the rest of the Christmas stuff. Also, I think I might go to Macy's and take pictures of their elaborate window displays in honor of Christmas with their little Santa villages and such - Just stuff to get me feeling Christmas. I'm in New York, I should really be doing more New York Christmas things instead of selling clothing during the season. :) There's also a little outside market thing over by union Square with tons of booths with people selling items...I think there's one in Central park too. Maybe I'll check it out.

Alright, have to get to work. Peace.

The Winter Blues Already?!

It's true. The winter blues are beginning to hit New Yorkers left and right like an unexpected snowball to the face. However, many people in Michigan that I have talked to and heard of are falling victim to this contagious epidemic that is apparently surging the U.S. earlier than usual. I'm scared for what will actually happen in January and February when this sickness usually hits. Hopefully, these current winter blues are just a result of the horrific economic situation our country and the world is facing and will eventually fade with the coming of the new year so that the usual winter blues can take effect? oh man. Well, hopefully, the economy will get better and will bring with it a positive outlook for the year ahead. Stay positive and optimistic, things WILL get better. It has to. :)

Keep me in your prayers for the job I interviewed yesterday. It's at a hotel that opens next week. Please, please pray for me. I need a new job. No one is shopping because no one has money, which in turn means that my paychecks are still not getting much better even though it is the holiday season. No one can afford anything unless it's on sale. It's so sad. I can't wait til January when we have a real positive energy and good spirit leading our country. We need it.

Well, Thursday was the final evening for the first semester at Studio 5. Can you believe it's already done? I know I'm a completely different actor and person from when I got here three months ago. There's a new sense of understanding and awareness in all aspects of life, my body, and stepping into a character. I am by no means saying I understand it fully, but I am continuing the road to that understanding. Next semester will further my knowledge and I can't even control my excitement, seriously. It's going to be weird to have a few months off from this creative and artistic journey I've been traveling.

It's funny. I am not scared. I haven't been. However, I probably should be. In the past 5 years:
I have gone away to school knowing only a handful of people in Kalamazoo, and starting all over to pursue my dream in theatre, meeting some of the best friends I have ever made.
I dropped everything the following year to head to Detroit to follow the same dream; knowing no one. I gained the most amazing mentors, some truly wonderful friends, and experiences I would never trade anything for.
I graduated with a BFA in Theatre Performance. No Double Major. No Minor. Just Theatre. I was never scared. But what did this degree guarantee me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The title of BFA proves that I have an education and to me it means that I have gained the knowledge and understanding needed to begin this career.
I traveled to Moscow to study abroad, not really knowing what to expect, not knowing how safe it would be, not knowing who I would encounter, not knowing the language or even the history of the country. It proved to be an amazing experience, and I was right to not be scared.
I took on Paris, not exactly knowing what to expect either with only a little breadth of knowledge in their language. No translator. I wasn't get scared. We got by, and I proved to myself that I was more intelligent than I would ever give myself credit for.
I opted to move to New York. I trusted my new roommate to find an apartment that I wouldn't see until I moved in, and whom I would never meet until I moved in. I was never scared. I knew it would be ok. It was.
I moved to New York, one of the biggest cities in the U.S., moving in with someone I didn't know, knowing only 3 people in the city, and not having a job. I wasn't scared. It would all work out. It did.
I attended classes four nights a week; no guarantee that I will get a job after this conservatory is done, but I have faith. I'm not scared. I know I am/will be a better person/actor/artist because of it.

I have done a lot. I have dropped everything and started over on a number of occasions. I have not been scared. I guess mom and dad do all the fretting for me. You need to have faith. You need to be positive. You need to be optimistic. THIS will lead you somewhere. Negativity gets you nowhere except allowing you to be sucked into a black hole of despair and self grieving. That's not worth it. You have your whole life to live - wouldn't it be better to live it with a smile instead of just exist in it without being happy? Something to ponder... The point is: Don't be scared. Grab life by the reins and enjoy the ride. Defy gravity. Just Breathe...

I have tomorrow off so I think I'm going to spend the day cleaning the apartment like mad because it needs it. Julie and I are also going to get a few Christmas decorations to help with the Christmas spirit while we're listening to Christmas songs. (18 days...) Speaking of, go to youtube and type in Rascal Flatts -I'll Be Home For Christmas; this is one of the most beautiful songs I have heard in a long while. It gave me chills. Amazing.

Well, I'm off to another day of fun at Macy's. Keep the Faith. Spread the Love.

It's December already?!

I cannot believe how fast time is just flying by! It's already December 2nd! Where does the time go? Update of my life:

Last week, as you know, was the food-filled American holiday - Thanksgiving. This year I was unable to come home due to work, money, etc., however, it was still a really great day with excellent food. I started off the morning by heading over to midtown to check out the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade down Broadway. Well, I ended up moving past a blockade thing keeping one area VIP because it was in my way, so I was able to watch the In the Heights rehearsal that they'd be performing in the parade pre-show. That was pretty sweet because it's one of my favorite Broadway shows. Sweet. Then I moved on to grab a peppermint mocha at my frequented Starbucks on the corner of 35th and 7th. I ended up watching the parade down at 40th and Broadway and I was pretty close to the front. It was kind of a fun atmosphere to see the kids all excited, the people in the parade genuinely happy to be a part of this, and of course the grumpy people behind me because they were getting claustrophobic with all the people. HELLO, you're at the biggest Thanksgiving day parade, you're going to be too close to people. I couldn't help but laugh. :) When I got home, Julie and I packed our cheese and cracker platter and apple pie and headed over to our friend Rachel's; she was having a few people over for dinner. She and her roommates went all out. There was a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, broccoli cheese cornbread, gravy, asparagus, green bean casserole, wine, sangria, apple and pumpkin pies - all more than I thought I would have on Thanksgiving. It was amazing and so nice of her to have us. We all said what we were thankful for while consuming the great tasting food and drinking the many different shades of wines. We got tired pretty quickly and the scent of the Christmas tree was making Julie's allergies act up, so we headed out around 9. Fun evening with my New York family.

This weekend was INSANE at Macy's...and INSANE is an understatement. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it was, because I'll finally be getting a paycheck that will actually do something to my bank account...only slightly, but every little bit helps. I was actually appalled at the way some of the human race was acting on Black Friday. Incredible. The throwing of clothes like they had lost something extremely valuable and it had to be hidden in the stack of clothing, the knocking down of shirts or pants and not even looking back to pick them up, the shoving of people to get out of their way. What ever happened to the Christmas spirit? If this is what it is, then I don't want a part of it. haha. Seriously, though. I have never gone out on Black Friday or that weekend to shop because I never had a desire to, but man, now I know why instincts kept me home. whew. Oh well, helped me in the end this year. So, you deal with the crazy animals for a few hours, make a little money, put a smile on your face, and walk out and go home. It's not so bad once you have a hot chocolate in your right hand a good book in the other resting on your bed. mmmm...

Speaking of books. So, Julie got me addicted to the Twilight series. I began last Saturday and am now almost done with the fourth and final book of the series. Would that qualify me as a loser that I've finished almost 2,000 pages (and a 200 page play in between) in a week and 3 days? If it does, that's ok. :) The books are all too intriguing and I absolutely love to read. Reading is one of my downfalls, which is why I love and hate to have a good book: Love it because I love reading and keeps my imagination flowing into these crazy vivid worlds of someone else's creation, and hate it because once I begin a book, that's all I can think about and I need to spend every waking moment reading it. Sickening, really, I know. meh.

I have a day off today, so, of course, I'm spending the day reading. haha. But later, I have class. This week is our last week of classes for this semester. Only tonight, tomorrow and Thursday. How crazy?! I've already been here for 3 months tomorrow! It doesn't really seem like it's been that long. When I think back on all of the crazy moments, emotions, hard times, good times, laughter, tears, and my life in general, it's hard to believe it's ONLY been 3 months. Everything I've gone through these past months is something people don't usually go through in a 3 year span. But, I know I'm a different, more mature, and healthier person because of it. I've always been independent, but I'm definitely able to stand my ground more firmly now. I'm stronger in the physical and mental sense, as well as in my creative capabilities. I was thinking just yesterday of when the day comes when I actually get to step on stage again in a role, I know I'll be able to do what's right. Everything Wayne State has taught me is now completely making sense and tightening its grip on my artistry with the help of Studio 5. It's funny how I knew to come here, but it's all completely making sense. I'm changing and evolving and completely in love with the fact that that's happening.

Well, I'm coming home in T - 22 days. (I can almost hear mom's hands clasp together in excitement when she read that sentence. haha) I am actually really excited, too. I love it here and there's so many New York Christmas-y things I want to do around here like go see the tree at Rockefeller Center, go ice skating when there's actually snow, walk through Central Park when there's snow on the ground, go sledding? haha. Who knows if that last one will happen. Who sleds in New York?! I'm also going to be spending all of my extra energy applying for jobs this entire month so that hopefully (fingers crossed) I'll have a new job come January. Business may be booming now in Macy's, but after the holidays when everyone's broke? It's totally going to go back to where it was, if not worse. So, if anyone hears of any openings or has any connections to some good jobs, please let me know. I am open to anything that pays more than $8/hr.

Well, I'm off to read more, write in the acting journal I don't write in often enough, and develop a character and costume for tonight's class. Have a great day.

Sometimes...

Sometimes, you just never know what God is thinking. He sets you onto this uncharted course (well for you it's uncharted) and then leaves you to figure it out, navigate your way without any sort of compass, deal with the obstacles and everything else that gets in the way, and still continue on this path. At the end of the day - you're still you. You have a new lesson learned under your belt, an accomplishment of the day to look back on, and the joy or anxiety of knowing it's going to happen all over again the next day. :) Man, what a journey life is.

Although I just recently moved to New York and have made a handful of friends, many of which could be classified as being in different groups, they are all good friends. I've had three invitations for Thanksgiving, not out of pity because I wasn't going home, but because they really wanted me there. I was kind of surprised because I have only known them for a few months, but the compelling and honest generosity was beautiful. I have, of course, chosen one - the first person to ask me. So, it's nice to know that I won't be alone on Thanksgiving. We're all going to be bringing something to the feast - Julie and I are in charge of two pies. In the morning of Thanksiving, Patrick and I are going to head to midtown to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I don't know if this will be an every-year occurrance because Lord knows how cold it will be (and the thoughts of those freezing Thanksgiving days on Woodward for the parade give me chills still. IT WAS SO COLD. sorry dad, I enjoyed it, but I hate the cold, you know this). However, my first year in New York, I will layer it up, grab a hot chocolate or coffee or both, and be on my way to 34th Street for the biggest Thanksgiving Day Parade in the country. It's kind of exciting.

It's funny how a lawyer and a few choice and assertive words can get someone to do something. Stupid, really, but funny nonetheless. My landlord hasn't taken care of the problem I've been having, and luckily my mom works for a law office, all they had to do was call and bam it's done. Why didn't I think to do that two weeks ago when I first began calling the landlord. Oh man. Whatever, it's being taken care of. People are just weird, selfish, and stupid. God bless them and once I move it, I won't convene with folks like him.

As you may or may not know, I love reading. However, I also hate it. I love it because, well, let's face it, what's better than a good back wrapped in a blanket? That's what I thought. I hate it because once I'm into a back, I can't stop thinking about it until I finish it. Meals are skipped (unintentionally, but I get so enthralled, I forget), bedtimes are set to a later time, dreams revolve around the storyline, conversations during the day are asking people/friends if they've read that particular book so that I can talk about it with them. It's like it becomes this sick obsessions. I guess it's a better obsession than drugs or alcohol. haha. What's even worse, is if the book is in a series. OH MAN! Then, at the end of one book, you're left with this cliffhanger and you're desperately wanting to read the next one as soon as you can get your hands on it, but soon is never soon enough! ANYWAY, what brought this on was that Danielle in the summer wanted me to read Twilight. I left the book at home on accident. Julie bought the book and had me read it. I was obsessed. It's not necessarily the greatest book, but there's the element of mystery and intense forward motion I love. You never know what's coming next and you can't wait to turn the page. So, I am now obsessed with this series. I started and finished the first book, Twilight, this weekend. The hours went by so fast. Julie just bought the second book, but is reading it. She's almost done, though, but that means I can't start it until I get home tonight. That stinks! Oh, the impatience. I'll survive.

I've discovered this before, but yesterday I practiced it again - writing makes you feel better. It really does. When your mind is so full and your head is heavy, let your mind explode onto a piece of paper through a pen, and BAM. Your hand flows without you even thinking and you feel ten million times better. It's like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders because you go out everything you wanted to, and a lot that you didn't even know you had hiding. Yesterday, I went to Starbucks and wrote....I wrote for an hour and a half and didn't even realize it. I then came to the realization that I'm pretty sure I'm going to write a book one day. It's not necessarily something I want to do, but it's a feeling I have that it's going to happen. I think it's going to be about your body, healing, and acting. It's gonna be good. I don't know this will happen, but I think it will. I think it's so weird when I get strange feelings like that; like I know for certain about something. For instance, I knew I was going to go to Wayne State before I even applied, I knew I would be in the BFA program before I auditioned, I knew I would o to Moscow, and knew I would audition for Studio 5 and be here now. Hopefully my next instinct of I know the next step of my life will happen from being here, is true because after Studio 5 I don't know what's up yet. :) but that's ok.

I apologize that the updates haven't been as frequent (dad, haha), but I'll try to keep on it. Until next time, amigoes.

It's not snowing here yet...

Yesterday I went ice skating in Bryant Park and 42nd St. with my friend Jacob from class. This was his first time EVER ice skating. How crazy. Anyway, the ice wasn't the greatest, but if you brought your skates it was free. I like free things. :) Anyway, it was a lot of fun. Very peaceful. It obviously reminded me of old times. I was kind of nervous/anxious to see if I'd even be able to skate, or what I would remember. Well, Marisa was right when she said that when I go back and skate, it's like riding a bike; it takes a minute to get used to it again, but you can jump right back in the swing of things. I think, also, since I've been active since I finished skating, it wasn't that hard of a transition. But, I was able to do a one foot spin super fast like usual, my sit spin, really fast and pretty low with all of the revolutions. I tried a sit back sit, but I think because of my heavy coat and jeans, it threw me off. I didn't fall, but I had to come out of the spin early than I would have liked to. I tried a waltz jump, and it was great. Those are easy though. If there weren't so many people watching, and it hadn't been 5 years since I last skated, I probably would have tried more jumps. But from the size and control of my waltz jump, I'm fairly certain I could have done an axel or double sow double toe loop no problem. That, to me, is pretty amazing. Muscle memory. The body remembers no matter how long it's been. So, that was a ly of fun and I really miss it. I'm going to have to skate more this season.

Yesterday was kind of one of those off days. It wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't the best day; it was just kind of weird. Ya know? Something, also, has been looming over me like a dark cloud, but I haven't figured out what it is yet, but it's annoying. Oh well.

Well, this weekend, I have Saturday AND Sunday off. How weird, right? I think I might ask to work one of those days, though, because I could use the money and I really don't need a day off. What would I do with a day off? Weird. haha.

ok, I have to go make lunch and dinner and get ready for work and class. Long day. Peace.

Autumn in the city

Sometimes you just need a break, whatever a "break" may entail. For me, this week, it was for me to get some fresh air. I am constantly inside except when walking to and from the subway station. So, this past Wednesday I had off and decided to travel around the city and breathe in some of this autumn air. I didn't really have a destination, just ideas. One thing I definitely wanted to do was go to Central Park and see the changing colors of the leaves. There really aren't that many trees by my apartment so I'm kind of getting cheated on that aspect of Fall. So, I took a long walk from 34th Street over to Central Park.

Wow...This was the perfect thing for me to be doing that day. The weather was a perfectly Autumn brisk day; cold enough for coat and scarf, but without the need for gloves and a hat. The smell of the fall air with the leaves falling from the trees = amazing. The vivid colors all around made for endless photo opportunities. I felt so peaceful the entire time walking around Central Park by myself, now and then asking a stranger to take a picture of me. It's interesting how a day alone, walking around outside letting your thoughts go wherever they may travel, a coffee in one hand, and the perfect weather, can just alter your mood, inner life, and pace of your body. I slowed down, breathed in every moment, and was thankful for this opportunity to enjoy nature in the center of such a sky-scraper dominated city. Below are pictures are of my experience.

This was one of my first sights when I entered the park. I knew I was in for an incredibly amazing experience. It already looks like something about of a storybook.

The path I continued walk down. I loved the different heights, shapes, sizes, colors, bareness, fullness, everything about all of the shubbery and trees here.

When I saw this, I was instantly reminded of Robert Frost's Poem "The ones less taken"...
-"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one less traveled by..."-

If you remember my blogs from the summer and early September, then you'll remember this spot. This is the big grassy area in Central Park that i like to go to and read and chill out. Still beautiful, if not more so.

This was one of my favorites pictures. I loved the way the tree framed the rest of the trees and made for such a magical forest type of feel to the environment. Absolutely stunning the way nature has its ways of astounding us with it's beauty.

The fountain. This was the first time I actually found the fountain, and funny enough, it's maybe 5 minutes away from my spot in Central Park. ha. funny.

I think this is picture is beautiful - the angle of it, the way the water is falling, the fountain in juxtaposition with the colorful tree line in the back and me up in front.

I was in love...absolutely in love with this Autumn.

After my little getaway through the fairytale that was Central park for me that day, I decided to take the normal tourist pictures in the city that I had yet to take. Hence, the pictures below.

I visited Rockefeller Center. Instead of the it being surrounded by flags from all the nations, it was surrounded by American flags in honor of the election. Love it. The ice rink is a lot smaller than I remember it being, also. I want to skate on it. :)

Here is the conventional, but always appealing and exciting, Times Square picture. I actually really like how it turned out though, surprisingly.

St. Patrick's Cathedral. Absolutely beautiful. The way the sun was hitting this magnificent Cathedral made it all the more heavenly.

And that was my tour of the city for my Wednesday morning/afternoon. Needless to say, after all of that walking and everything, I was dead tired and took a nap before class. :) Class, by the way, is consistently getting more and more exciting and deep, and I am constantly learning more and more about acting, my body, my voice, and my self. What an amazing 3 1/2 hours of exploration and investigation four days a week. I'm very judgmental of myself when it comes to acting and everything, and we did exercises to kill the critic, as well as acknowledge and let it speak, which was extremely beneficial and helpful.

Here's a very interesting thought. As you know, I'm deaf in one ear. However, yesterday on the subway was the first time I've ever actually noticed I'm deaf. That sounds stupid, but it makes sense to me. It was like I was living outside of myself or something. I was very aware of the fact that listening to my earphones, I could only hear the music on one side and it was completely silent on the other. However, at the same time, it was like I could hear music only in one ear, and yet I could hear all of the surrounding noise and conversations in the subway car clear as day - from my bad ear. It's kind of difficult to explain, but even more bizarre to experience. I don't know what happened, what was going on, or what, but it was crazy and neat. It felt sort of like I had a super power. Maybe it was because I was so aware of my body and so in tune to everything inside of me that it expanded onto everything else? Not sure.

Well, another full week already at an end setting up for a new week to begin. I'm off to bed because I work early in the morning. Have a pleasant evening.

Where to even begin...

All I can start off by saying is - I survived this week, and that in itself is a feat. God puts obstacles in your way, hurdles for you to jump over, and mountains for you to hike - all to make you stronger, wiser, and an ultimately well rounded individual capable of anything afterward. Well, this week, God threw them all at me and some them hit me smack in the face and knocked me over. However, today was the beginning of a new week and although I woke up with a headache because I stayed out too late last night, I also woke up with a smile. A smile for the journey that's ahead and the better person I am/will become. I'm not going to bore you with the details of this week was a train wreck, but instead on how, even though it was hard, there were many positive notes.

The highlight of the week would have to be Tuesday, November 4 - Election Day. Not only is this a day that will forever be a memorable moment in history for Americans and the world, but also for me. The best place to be for this election was New York, and I have NEVER seen fellow Americans act the way they did that evening. Let me start from the beginning.

Tuesday evening we went to class and got out at 9pm to go across the hall to Per and Aole's apartment to watch the election happenings and drink champagne and wine and eat fine chocolates and dorito's. The excitement in the air was indescribable because the polls were leaning toward Obama already. After some ridiculousness on our parts and being glued to to the TV, the results finally showed and Obama had won. Screams, cheers, hugs all around - an amazingly joyous moment for us all in the room, as well as everyone in the streets. We headed to the local bar and watched his acceptance speech. Silence. An overly crowded bar, packed shoulder to shoulder, and you could here every word that Obama spoke and very breath he inhaled. At peak moments in the speech, cheers and yells of excitement filled the room. At the end of the speech we left. People out on the streets were yelling and chanting Obama. For this single night, everyone united. The spirit, the hope, the commodore exemplified by each individual regardless of race, sex, sexual orientation, height, weight, was magical. I was proud. When I was in St. Petersburg and the Russian soccer team got into the finals for the first time ever and the country united, and everyone was excited; people dancing in the streets, hugging, high fiving, singing. I wanted this. I wanted our nation to unite over one single triumph and enjoyable moment to make us want to go out into the streets and dance and hug, and sing. Well, on November 4, 2008, sooner than I expected, that wish came true. That feeling of euphoria that the Russians felt was exactly what so many Americans around the country felt. Obama's spirit, personality, positive energy - that is what America needs right now. I know he will lead us to great things and make the nation, and the world for that matter, a better place. I'm glad I was a part of this moment in history and it will forever be embedded in my memory.

- Studio 5 Conservatory -
My classmates and I with PerBrahe and Aole the night of the election.

I had some breakthroughs in class, also, as an artist and individual. First off, I've been very judgmental on my abilities to produce my craft efficiently and well enough. I need to stop that. haha. I have the habit of doing that when things get rough in life. It, in turn, stands in the way of me working to my fullest capacity and to the best of my ability. I had many moments, though, where I left that judgment behind. We worked one day on singing from the body; letting the body take you in the direction it wants to go - sort of like improv I suppose. Once you're grounded and present in yourself, it's surprising to see where your body can take you - the dance moves, the notes you hit, the story you tell, the songs you sing, the rhythms you pop out. It's very liberating and freeing, which is necessary for the actor on stage. Another exercise another day worked with the Juliet monologue we've been working on. We received an image and had to in turn work the Juliet piece as that image and over exaggerate. This helped with freeing the body for the text which allowed newer images to flood the imagination and bring the text alive in a different way. It was great to get this alternate viewpoint as to what "Juliet" would be doing or thinking or whatever at the moment.

Last night, I went to see Strindberg's "The Father" at LaMama Theatre down in the East Village with two classmates because one of our instructors, Raina, was the lead female in it. It was in a smaller theatre, maybe 100 seats if that. She was phenomenal. The character choices, the way she brought the text alive, the intensity in which she delivered the role, the transformation she took on within this character - all of it blew me away. My hope is that I can have the stage presence and power she exemplified throughout the performance. Absolutely phenomenal and stunning. Aftwerward, the three of us went to grab a bite to eat. They went home and my friend Julie and my new friend Jake from Macy's came out and met me down there. We went to a bar called Grassroots which had some cheap drinks and talked, and it was a blast. I had so much fun chilling with good people, talking, relaxing, and having a genuine good time. It was much needed and so much fun. It reminded of the fact that, yes, money is an issue and it always will be, but you need to take that time for yourself. Spend that extra $10 on yourself and have fun. You WILL drive yourself CRAZY if you don't. Today I woke up in a good mood ready to take on the world, and why? Because I ended the week on such a high note with good friends and good times. What more could you ask for? Times are hard, the economy sucks, but you need to find those moments that will get you through it and make you smile. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, a door opened when another is closed, and sun after a rainy day. Keep the faith and keep riding that roller coaster we call life because the road will lead to an amazing place one day. I believe it. You should too.

Keep your fingers crossed that Wednesday is going to be a beautiful fall day in the city. I'm hoping so because the leaves are all changing color and falling off of the trees, and what better way to get a feel for fall in the city then go to Central Park and enjoy all the beautiful colors? I chose Wednesday because Wednesday is my next day off. :) I really hope it will be nice because that would be an amazing afternoon, and FREE. haha Don't worry, I'll post pictures.

Alright, well I think I am going to watch a movie with Julie before I fall asleep at a ridiculously early time again this evening. Have a wonderful evening.

Back in NYC

So, I traveled home for the weekend which was a much needed and pleasant trip. It definitely gave me that break I needed from the stress, busy-ness, and non-stop activity of being in the city. Being home also made me realize so many different things about myself, others, and the many differences between there and here. Here are a few:

NYC: You can go to a bar and dance however you want and no one will care, most likely they will join you. You can swing your hips, you can move your arms, you can shout and sing along, and no one thinks twice.
SCS: You start dancing and you're judged. Guys are not expected to know how to dance, so once you go out on the dance floor and start dancing "well," you're judged. You can only sing to certain songs because you're not supposed to know the words to "bad" songs.

NYC: No one drives and many more don't even have their licenses.
SCS: How would anyone survive with their license or their own car? It's a given you have both.

NYC: Finding a Taco Bell here is like finding a Sonic in SCS.
SCS: Taco Bells are located within a mile to two mile radius of each other.

NYC: You're supposed to dress trendy, nice...however, no matter what you are it's ok because it's your own style and people appreciate it, sometimes judged, but no one cares.
SCS: You wear something stylish or trendy, you're either gay, from New York, or had your girlfriend pick out your clothes.

NYC: People are in a rush, once in a while you get those friendly faces, but no one really wants to make eye contact with you.
SCS: People work to make eye contact with you and flash you a smile. They want to stop and say hello and start a conversation and tell you to have a nice day.

NYC: It's a rarity to run into someone you know, but it happens because let's face it, it is a small world.
SCS: Everywhere you go you run into at least one person you know - KMart, Coney Island, Shores Inn, CVS, you name it - you know someone.

NYC: I eat noodles and chicken I make.
SCS: Amazing Homecooked food.

NYC: Big city feeling to it.
SCS: Small town feeling to it.

NYC: New Good Friends.
SCS: Amazing Family and Friends I've had forever.

All in all, there's aspects I love and aspects I don't really like about both, but I am in love with both cities for their similarities and their differences. It was interesting because when mom was driving me to the airport I mentioned how different of a feeling it was from the last time I was driven to the airport. The nerves, anxiety, feeling of the unknown - all gone. I was at ease, relaxed, excited to tell my friends of my amazing time at home. I got back to my apartment and was excited to see Julie and Patrick and tell them about everything and reminisce about the weekend. At that moment, I knew FOR SURE this is where I'm supposed to be. Before I left for the weekend, I only had that feeling in class. However, since it was happening outside of class and when I first came back to the city, I know this is right for me. It's a beautiful thing to realize you're on the right track. If only I could foresee what else the future holds for me, but I guess I would rather not know...it would take away the excitement of when it happens.

In reflection to the Thanksgiving dinner I had yesterday: I give thanks for my loving family, my amazing friends, and for the joy of living and having the opportunity to follow and pursue my dreams.

Interesting life.

Talking over coffee with Julie about our travels, our life, New York, made me realize what I have seen in the world. The world is such a beauteous, fascinating, and yet mysterious place. Mysterious in that you know about so much, yet there's so little you actually do know about it; there are so many corners that have never been turned, so many rocks never turned over, so many lands and waters undiscovered. However, the average person knows what things look like because of pictures, television, movies. To actually be there, to see with your own eyes, to touch with your own hands, to smell.

1. I remember the warm feeling of the sands of Waikiki Beach in between my toes. The sensation I felt when floating on a raft in the Pacific and seeing an angel fish floating beneath me in the clear water. The smell of the salty air off the beach. The rubbery texture of a dolphin's skin and the speed in which they carried you through the water while holding onto the dorsal fin. The lightness of the air, silence, and peace so high above the air while parasailing.


2. I remember the smell of bread, dirt, flowers, and everything else in the underground tunnels in Moscow. Every time a specific song comes on, these smells come right back into my nose because I listened to the song everyday while walking down Tverskaya to class. The sound of the buzzing and fast traffic. The fast pace in which the clouds moved. The magnificence of Red Square and St. Basil's Cathedral and the feeling of walking on the cobblestone. The natural high after the banya experience. The sight of the last staircase in the MXAT that we had to climb everyday that was so steep and represented the climb you would have to make as an actor.


3. In St. Petersburg, the beautiful palaces, the amazing artwork, the history, the colors of the buildings, the feeling when the bridge opened at midnight over the river. The freshness of the air because there were so many rivers and canals. The extraordinary fountains at the Peterhoff and the gardens that were endless. The feeling of standing in the Baltic Sea in the same spot as the czars themselves looking out into the open water.


4. In Paris, the softness of the baguettes and the extraordinary taste. The sensation I felt while praying in Notre Dame - the whole world went away and it was just me and the ornate and colorful stained glass windows. Looking over the city with the wind in my face at the top of the Eiffel Tower. The thought of "wow, that's a lot smaller than I thought it would be" while staring at the original Mona Lisa. The smell of the fresh air, sounds of the flowing water, and sensation of peace and happiness while sitting at the Seine River.


5. Laying in Central Park on a beautiful day staring into the blue sky with the sun's rays covering me with the bright green grass tickling my feet and legs. The flood of heat when descending the stairs into the subway.


6. The rush of adrenaline that floods your body before the curtain opens. The warmth in which a story is shared through the body and voice. The overwhelming feeling with the sounds of applause, shouts, whistles. The sight of the theatre from the stage. Looking into the house of the Bonstelle Theatre is a feeling unlike any other.


7. The sensation of laughing, smiling so much my cheeks hurt, the familiarity and trust that occurs with friends. I have realized through all of my happenings that I have so many people that I have encountered in my life that I care for so much and that I know care for me. The realization always occurs when you need it most, also.




8. The bear hugs only mom can give, the look dad gives when he's trying to be serious before he bursts out laughing, the dorky laugh Danielle and I share that only happens when we're together, the late night talks Mark and I have, the excitement Nicholas gets when something is really important to him, Cassie's smile, whine, and excitement when you see her. These are sensations incomparable to the sights and sounds of the world I have experiences so far.


I am truly blessed to live the life I lead. By taking the moment for all that it is worth. Living day to day, moment to moment. Appreciating the greatness and story that lies within every thing, person, place. The world is a fascinating piece of matter, as are we all.

Dream. Breathe. Live.

Monday afternoon

Well, it's Monday already. Dang. I went down to the Williamsburg area in Brooklyn at Atlantic Ave. to buy a coat at Burlington. After a while of trying different coats on, I opted for a Guess 3 button peacoat type coat. It's really nice, would fit over my suit, sweatshirt, sweater, whatever. and could look casual or dressy and is warm enough. And, it was a lot cheaper than I thought I'd have to pay. Love the prices there compared to the prices of coats at Macy's.

Yesterday Julie arrived to stay with me until she finds a place. She's going to be apartment searching and job searching/interviewing while staying here. It's so nice to have her here. Positive and fun energy.

Also, after work yesterday, I met up with Hammitt and her friend Kim. We went on the subway to 60th and ate at Serendipity where Hammitt wanted to go because it was in the movie Serendipity. it was this quaint, two story restaurant - painted with pink walls inside, mirrors on the walls. We each had dinner and split their trademark frozen hot chocolate. So good - it kind of tasted like chocolate mousse, but now moussey. I guess it was made out of 7 different chocolates. eh. Very good. Kinda pricey, but somewhere you should go, I think. We traveled back and I left them at a stop to hop onto my train.

It's so interestingto see where life leads you. For example, to see that Julie is now staying with me. IF you would have mentioned two years ago at the pool that sh wouldbe staying with me in my New York apartment, I'd be like,w hat?! But alas, here we are. So cool so nice. It's interesting to see the road God leads on. everything happens for a reason.

I come home in two weeks. I'm pretty excited. I guess Leah told the Starbucks employees and they're excited too. hahaha. That made me laugh because they know I'll be stopping in there. Anyway, gotta head to class. Have a good night. Work tomorrow and then class. :)

It's Friday night.

It's Friday evening. I think I'm staying in tonight. This week has been pretty eventful, so staying in wouldn't be so bad. My friend, Denita, from Wayne State was in NYC on Wednesday. She was a dance major and I met her through our African Dance class as well as being in Black Nativity together and we became really good friends. It was great to see her!

Denita was in town because she was back up dancing for someone and was just in for the night and was uptown. So, we decided to meet at 42nd Street because it was between class for me and the show for her. We took the 7 over to her hotel because we were going to go out. Well, 2:30 rolled around (we didn't arrive at the hotel until 1:15ish because of the subway) and it was kind of late and I had to work the next day. So, we took the hour and a half train ride down to my apartment. We, we didn't really do much except ride subways (haha), but we talked for those 4 hours. It was so nice to catch up and be with a familiar and friendly face from home. Her phone calls have totally kept me sane a few times because she's going through the same stuff in Chicago with job searches, work, finding your "place" and where you belong. In the morning we had eggs and then headed into town - her to catch her flight and me to head to Macy's.

That evening while waiting for Denita because I had arrived a little early, I stopped at the Starbucks at 43rd St. and 8th Ave. Man, was this a good decision. My Starbucks at home is the Mack Ave. one in GPW. They know all about me, give me free drinks, and we've become friends. It's a place that I love to be. I think I may have found my "Mack Ave Starbucks" in NYC at this location. The girl at the register asked if I was in a play, and I responded with no of course. She said "oh, because you look familiar, like an actor." I replied with "Well, maybe you're seeing the future, but I'm not in a play right now." So, we started talking about acting. It turns out, she's from Arizona and moved here a couple of months ago to pursue musical theatre. I asked is she went to Arizona State University where Patrick, my roommate, went and she said no. Apparently, though, she has a friend who is friends with Patrick and before she moved this person had told her that Patrick had just moved here. Crazy small world! What are the chances?! New York surprises me more and more as to how small it really is. So, I went to wait for my drink and he ended up striking up a conversation with me. He just moved here from Russia. So, we talked about Moscow and me studying at the Moscow Art Theatre. He was amazed that I was able to study there because he knows of how prestigious it is to work there. So, I said the couple words I knew in Russian and he laughed and enjoyed it. The girl at the counter told me that anytime I come in, my coffee is free. Sweet. Love it.

Class this week has been good. It was a little more rough on me, and I don't think it has anything to do with class, but everything else in life plus that. I've just been so exhausted because everyday takes so much out of me. Class is physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally draining, yet completely fulfilling in every way. I know it's changing me, not just as an actor, but as a human being. I'm definitely more open in life. I view many things in so many different angles now. I appreciate. I breathe. I live. And that's the key - to live. Because what else are we really doing at any specific moment in time? Living. And if we don't live in that moment, but instead worry about the future or the past that you can't change, you're missing out on the "now" and replacing it with "worry" and it's not worth it. Breathe. Live.

Last night after class, I went up to a bar a down the street from studio with Aole and three other classmates. I was himming and hawing on whether to go because I was tired, but I'm so glad I went. It was a nice way to wind down the week just sitting, talking, and eating. (by the way, they had GREAT fries!) It reminded me of the bar we always went to at Wayne State called Cass Cafe. It was a little dive bar one block from our apartments and we always ended up there. We knew the bartenders, servers, specials, what to get, and you could never go there without seeing someone you knew. This place reminded me very much of Cass. I literally kept looking at the door because I felt like at any moment someone I knew was going to be walking in. Of course, to no surprise, no one else I knew walked in. It was just really cool to know that a place like exists and is not too far away.

I called the fitness club today that I interviewed with last Friday to follow up. The manager I interviewed with wasn't in, but I talked to the other one who I had spoken to previously with setting up an interview. He told me he was sorry no one has gotten back to me yet and that I had an absolutely great interview. The manager really liked me in the interview, and from him just talking to me on the phone, he really liked me and knows I am exactly the type of person they are looking for. So, he is going to check into the status and get things moving if they're not already and then he's going to call me back. That's a good sign, right? Keep your fingers crossed that I'll get it. I absolutely love it there, and it'll be a secure job with a steady pay. Macy's is fine for right now, but it won't cut it. I'm need this lifeguard job. Say your prayers for me. Thanks!

Well, I've spent the past two weeks watching the 14 episodes of Lost from last season. Wow. Crazy. I can't wait until January when they begin Season 5. It just keeps taking so many twists and turns with the plot, and with as many new questions they open, they really do keep answering ones from the past. Love it.

I think that's about it for now...Hammitt will be in town this weekend. Hopefully she'll have time to hang out! Alright, I'm out. Have a wonderful evening.

The apartment

Here are pictures of the apartment. :) Enjoy.



This is looking down my street.


This is the front of my building.


The door to my apartment. :)


My kitchen.


The bathroom.


The common area/kitchen


A view of my room.


Another view of my room.


My room again.


View of the apartment from my room. The room at the end is Patrick's room. There's a nook directly to the left of my door where a couch or table could go. We just haven't gotten anything yet. Once we have money we were going to make it more "homey" or whatever, but right now, we have the necessities and are living comfortably.

It's the middle of the week already.

I cannot believe how fast time flies here. It's honestly like time doesn't exist, or it's in fast forward here, because everyday just shoots on by. Everyone's always said that NY was a fast paced city, and yes it, but maybe they were also referring to the time and not just the fast walking people. It's a fast paced city because the time goes by fast...hmm..interesting.

My friend Melissa from Wayne State, and who also went to Moscow with me, was in town this weekend visiting a friend. She saw a ton of shows, and I had to work. So, after the show on Saturday, I walked from work at 34th and 7th and headed over to 48th and 7th and waited a few minutes for them to get out of "The Seagull" (which is a must see for me by the way. The Seagull is the play that studied and analyzed over and over again in Moscow; I'm sure you remember the stories. So, it's a must see. Plus, I've only heard good things). We began walking and we noticed this beautiful woman, who just so happens to be the lead woman in all thee "The Mummy"' movies with Brendan Fraser. Celebrity sighting! So, that was pretty cool. We ended up walking down 9th Ave. and ended at a little Irish Pub. We hung out there with her friend Julie, caught up, chilled, and headed home. Sunday evening after their show, we went to a place called "The Telephone Bar" in which the design in the front is of three telephone booths and the workers all have british accents. It was cool. it was crazy because I had to take the 6 train there and at one of the stops, Julie and Melissa happened to get on the same train, same car. What are the chances?! I was just supposed to meet them at the bar! haha. That was pretty neat.

Class has began getting even more intense, or maybe it's me getting more intense. Because I've opened up my body, my channels, and energy so much, I've been experiencing so much more. The improvisation of developing and performing characters through different exercises are so free and not forced, which is ultimately what needs to happen all the time. I think I had a spirit visit me the other day in class also, which was insane. I told Per and he said that that he has heard of that before and that when one is so open, they're more receptive to higher energies and sometimes they come down and visit. It was crazy and I felt bipolar, but I knew I wasn't. This guy was so kind. This sounds weird, and I don't know how much of it I would believe either, but it happened to me, so I kind of have to believe it. ha.

Macy's is ok. I mean, it's Macy's. Nothing extraordinary. Still like my co-workers, job is getting better; it's just not right for me. Oh well, I'll stick with it until I have something else obviously. It's funny because my friends that I've told that I work at Macy's and how they're not cool, they tell me stories of their friends who have worked at Macy's and horrible experiences also. I thought it was pretty funny.

Well, tonight Denita is going to be in town to do a dance show somewhere, so I'll get to see her which is awesome. This weekend Hammitt will be here so I'll get to see her which will be sweet. AND, one of my favorite Starbucks employees from the Mack Ave. Starbucks said he will be in town so he's going to give me a call. It should hopefully be a fun weekend.

I come home in 16 days. I'm really excited about that. I miss the suburbs, the grass, the driving, the people, the atmosphere. I love it here in New York, but St. Clair Shores has that something about it. It'll be nice to come home for a weekend. :)

Anyway, I'm off. Havea great day.

"My journey begins today"

That quote is what the coffee cup I drink out of every morning says. Leah got it for me for my birthday before I left. it's my favorite cup. My day is usually a little off if I don't drink a cup of coffee out of it. haha

It's kind of unbelievable how fast time flies by. I can't believe that It's already October 11, I've been in New York for over a month, and in class for 3 weeks already! Where has the time gone? And honestly, the weird thing is that it hasn't seemed like I've been away from home either. Maybe it's because I'm able to use a cell phone, unlike Moscow...not sure, but it's ok. I'll be home in 3 weeks - pretty excited!

Class has been blowing me away with every evening. I know I keep saying that, bu it's so true. I'm learning so much more about myself, about channeling the energies I have with me and inside me, listening and following my body instead of overthinking, and what it really means to have the emotion behind the text. The past four years at Wayne I have building this extremely strong foundation. In Moscow, I built some layers above this foundation. Here in NYC, I'm building even more layers, but also delving into the layers, into the foundation, and sewing up loose ends, making the stitching stronger. I am truly blessed to have followed my instincts and come here because this is where I need to be. This is where I need to start. By the end of this, I will be a change actor and a changed person, and although I can't completely explain to the fullest extent what exactly is happening, because I can't find the words; I know soon enough I will be able to articulate it well enough for anyone to understand. Just know my body is becoming more free, tensions exist less, and I am allowing my acting to go further and to places I didn't know exist. That is an amazing feeling.

Yesterday I went on an interview at a New York fitness club to be a part time lifeguard/receptionist. oh man. This place is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. You walk in the lobby and there is a gigantic chandelier. You take the elevator up to the top floor, I think it was like the 32nd. Floor to ceiling windows in this place, beautiful hard wood floors. There's a room with state of the art ellipticals, treadmills, weight machines overlooking Manhattan, each with a screen to play movies and an ipod dock for your own personal ipod. Along the other side is a smaller pool, one end is 3.6 ft, the other is 4.6 ft. There's a whirlpool in the room also. The walls and ceiling in the poolroom are all glass. The ceiling can open up and the "walls" can slide open to you can be open to the fresh air. This leads onto a patio. Down the hall is a lounge room with beautiful couches, chairs, a tv, fireplace, counter for catering if special events are taking place. Another room has a pool table, poker table, and ping pong table. On the opposite side of the pool is another patio. This patio has canopies with extremely comfortable lounge chairs underneath, patio chairs and tables, and a bar. Oh yeah, and one side of the building overlooks Central Park, and the side with the patio overlooks the Hudson River. Ahhh! So luxurious lavish and beautiful. I had my interview on the rooftop, on the lounge chairs overlooking the Hudson River. No joke, I felt like I was in a movie. it seemed like a dream, it didnt seem real. Here is this kid from St. Clair Shores, who lived in Detroit for the past two years, on the rooftop of this glamorous building. Insane. Hopefully I get the job. I liked the woman who interviewed me, the space, and the people I met. Keep your fingers crossed, then I could possibly leave Macy's. :)

The song "Dream Big" by Ryan Shupe and the rubberbands. If you've never heard it, download it. Beautiful song. Itjust came on random on my itunes. How fitting for my life right now. here's are the lyrics:

When you cry, be sure to dry your eyes,
'Cause better days are sure to come.
And when you smile, be sure to smile wide,
And don't let them know that they have won.
And when you walk, walk with pride,
And don't show the hurt inside,
Because the pain sill soon be gone.

(Chorus)
And when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

And when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself,
And it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength to help to carry on,
But when the troubles come your way.

(Chorus)
And when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

(Dream big.)
(Dream big.)

When you cry be sure to dry your eyes,
cause better days are sure to come.
And when you smile be sure to smile wide, and
don't let them know that they have one.
And when you laugh be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty all
around and in yourself, and it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength to
help to carry on when the troubles come your way.

Chorus 2x

NYC story: I was waiting for the J train to pull up at the Broadway junction stop and these two girls are having a heated argument about something. it turns out, it's because of the baby's color, they were debating who the daddy was. The baby was two light to have a black momma and black daddy, so it had to have had a hispanic daddy. There's no way that the momma who says the daddy is the daddy, is really the daddy. It has to be the hispanic guy (who's name they said, but I don't remember. They weren't too happy about it anyway.) The way they were talking was like they were on Jerry Springer or Maury. It was crazy. And that is my fun subway story from Thursday.

Well, today I'm working all day. Then I'm going out with a friend from Macy's. One of my friends from Wayne who also went to Moscow with me is in NYC, so tomorrow I hope to hang out with her because I don't have to work. Wednesday, my friend Denita from Wayne will be in town. So excited to see her. Julie will be staying with me starting Thursday possibly to start interviewing and apartment searching. And Hammitt is supposed to be here this upcoming weekend. So many people, so excited. Anyway, I'm off. Hope home is well!

P.S. I took pictures of my apartment. If you'd like to see, let me know and I'll e-mail them to you, or ask my parents and they can show you. :)

Have a great weekend!