Caroline and I at Starbucks. She, as well as the graduating MFA and BFA classes of WSU were in New York for a showcase. We met up for coffee and caught up, which was so nice. We were friends at Wayne State, she coached me on monologues, and we traveled to Moscow together.
I also got to hang out with Steve and Beth. It was so great to see and catch up with them, too. I haven't seen Beth since the summer, I think. It really made me miss our good talks and crazy times being roommates in Moscow and Paris. So glad I had the opportunity to see them while they were here.I think that things are meant to happen in your life when they're supposed to happen. For example, reading a book. You may have a book sitting on your shelf for years and never read it. Then one day, you're inclined to pick it up and finally read it, and you realize you weren't meant to read this book before this moment because of the way it pertains to your life and affects you at that moment. That may sound complicated, but I completely believe in it. This proved true when I read "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coehlo this week. This was one of the books I received from Aole, and I have been meaning to read it for a while because keep telling me I'd like it. Well, I've finally read it and wow does it correlate with my life. It's about this boy who meets this man that kind of sparks him into realizing his own "personal legend," or goal in life, everyone has one, but many people block it out or stop short right before they get there. He leaves home, goes through a series of obstacles, heads into the unknown following just instincts and going off of the omens or signs that he is on the right course. He meets many people along the way, some who befriend him, help him with his course, and others who try to stand in the way and tell him of his impossible dream and that's he silly for following it. However, the boy never doubts himself, and when doubt begins to creep in, a sign comes along to tell him to keep going. It's a beautiful and inspirational story. As I was reading it, it was uncanny how my experiences fit in with his. I, of course, didnt have the same experiences as him, but the path he took in general. People know of their personal legends from the time their little children, but usually block it out when they begin to get older because of society, pressure, and the unrealistic possibility of the dream actually coming true. I've wanted to be an actor since I was a little kid. I'm still a child at heart, that's my archetype. My imagination has never been hindered, has never stopped flowing, and I have never stopped myself although there have more than enough obstacles. And now, 18 years after I would on shows in my backyard or basement, I am in New York. Who'd have thought? But, I never once thought I couldn't do it. This was the path and I never doubted it; I knew where I was going, what I had to do. And now I'm here. I still have so much further to go, but as long as I keep this confidence, follow my instincts, listen to the signs, and follow my heart, my path ahead will lead me to my personal legend.
I am fascinated by peoples' personalities and obsessed with people watching...or should I saw, observing - because that's what I do. When I people watch, I observe. I look to see their motives, to see if there's a specific breathing pattern, way they move, if they're doing something for attention, or if it's really organic and natural. When they talk, are they talking to the other person, at the other person, or to themselves because they're just talking with no general point of focus. You can learn so much from society if you just sit back and observe; investigate. The inner emotions are most likely going to shine through and you'll be able to sense their energy, feel with them, and ultimately understand yourself and the human population slightly better. Throughout this course I have learned to dive deep within myself and investigate; investigate emotions, what I'm currently feeling, going inside whatever it is and living inside it, and then riding the roller coaster over to the next one that may pop in. You'd be surprised at what you're actually feeling when you stop the facade and go inside and investigate. This grounds you and creates presence within yourself at that moment. This is beneficial for acting and makes the character natural and organic because what is coming out of the character is actually what is going on inside of you, just translated through the character's words, physicality, and emotions. This "investigation process" also relieves muscle tension, aching, pain; you hold so much emotion within your muscles, muscle memory. By going inside them through tremors and investigation, you are allowing these emotions to live and breathing them out which in turns relieves the pain. It's a fascinating process, which really works when you're focused and get down to it. It was difficult for me at first, but now I can dive right in, identify, live, and become present within a minute. This is a practice that I will continue to work on because it will be beneficial when I can get present even faster to jump into a role.
We did camera work this week with Aole. I was nervous at first before we stepped in front of the camera because I didn't exactly know how it would turn out, how I'd be. But, before I went I pushed that away and just lived in the moment...and it showed. We had to tell a funny story. After we all went, we reviewed and gave constructive criticism, negativity was not allowed at all, which was great. I was genuinely and happily surprised at the results. I actually looked pretty good on screen. I was real and honest, I looked good, and my intentions were clear. I was living the images and conveying them well across to the audience. I even sounded good. My voice was clear, crisp, and resonant...something I have been working on because I was always too nasaly, went down at the end of my sentences, under-anunciated, and didn't sound at all confident. I'm still not where I would like to be, but it's amazing to see where I'm at now. I'm really glad I'm able to add film to my bag of tricks of things I can do.
For our final showcase, we're developing a play based on VanGogh's life. We began by writing out a timeline of events in his life we wanted to cover. Then, through the work of improvisations, character development, and mask work, we have created the scenes that will be in the play. New understandings of why he acted the way he did, what emotion was felt, what sort of atmosphere was created in a given situation, these are all becoming clearer. It's work like I've never done before. It's so spectacular to see how these improvisations unfold and become something so much more than life, and create this story. Flawlessly. We move around, come up with gestures, internalize these, develop a character, and create another scene. We study of a painting of a portrait, internalize it, move as the character, begin making sounds, and again begin improvising a scene while we have become these characters in the portraits. This is work I would have never thought I could do before, but I'm doing it. It's imaginitive, innovative, creative, and ultimately beautiful and special. Coming here is still one of the best decisions I've made toward my career as an artist.
I'm beginning to get even more comfortable at work. I joke around with the old people all the time, I love them and they love me, and I have befriended many of them. I'm also starting to become good friends with some of my co-workers. They're all around my age and pretty cool. I went out the other night with one of them and her friends. It was really cool to hang out with a different group of people, and all of them were really cool. We had a great time, and it was interesting because we were in an area and ended up at a bar I had gone to once before when Branden was here. Random. You think New York is a huge city (which it is), but it is also very small, and that's one of the aspects I love about the city. I'm really beginning to learn my way around, find new places, meet new people, and fit right in. It's a great feeling.
I finally booked a flight home for Easter. It's ridiculous because the prices jumped up so much because it's spring break season and Easter. Stupid. But, I'm glad I'm able to come home. I'm so ready to spend time with the family, hang out with some friends on Saturday night, and be away from the city. It'll be beautiful. The trouble is I'll only be home for the weekend and so many people want to see me. I'll see who I want to see, though, because you can't please everyone. And I know I want to see the fam, which is obvious and I get to spend all day Sunday with them which will be great.
Alright, well I'm going to head off to watch more episodes of Heroes. I missed all of last season and this season so far, so I'm trying to catch up because I really like the show, it's extremely intrigueing. Sundays have definitely become my relaxing, chill, do nothing day. Haha. And I love it. If someone made plans, I'd go do them, but otherwise, I'm completely fine being a lazy bum and chilling out. On that note, my comfortable bed is calling me to watch the dvd. Have a good night!
I'll write again soon.
