The Winter Blues Already?!

It's true. The winter blues are beginning to hit New Yorkers left and right like an unexpected snowball to the face. However, many people in Michigan that I have talked to and heard of are falling victim to this contagious epidemic that is apparently surging the U.S. earlier than usual. I'm scared for what will actually happen in January and February when this sickness usually hits. Hopefully, these current winter blues are just a result of the horrific economic situation our country and the world is facing and will eventually fade with the coming of the new year so that the usual winter blues can take effect? oh man. Well, hopefully, the economy will get better and will bring with it a positive outlook for the year ahead. Stay positive and optimistic, things WILL get better. It has to. :)

Keep me in your prayers for the job I interviewed yesterday. It's at a hotel that opens next week. Please, please pray for me. I need a new job. No one is shopping because no one has money, which in turn means that my paychecks are still not getting much better even though it is the holiday season. No one can afford anything unless it's on sale. It's so sad. I can't wait til January when we have a real positive energy and good spirit leading our country. We need it.

Well, Thursday was the final evening for the first semester at Studio 5. Can you believe it's already done? I know I'm a completely different actor and person from when I got here three months ago. There's a new sense of understanding and awareness in all aspects of life, my body, and stepping into a character. I am by no means saying I understand it fully, but I am continuing the road to that understanding. Next semester will further my knowledge and I can't even control my excitement, seriously. It's going to be weird to have a few months off from this creative and artistic journey I've been traveling.

It's funny. I am not scared. I haven't been. However, I probably should be. In the past 5 years:
I have gone away to school knowing only a handful of people in Kalamazoo, and starting all over to pursue my dream in theatre, meeting some of the best friends I have ever made.
I dropped everything the following year to head to Detroit to follow the same dream; knowing no one. I gained the most amazing mentors, some truly wonderful friends, and experiences I would never trade anything for.
I graduated with a BFA in Theatre Performance. No Double Major. No Minor. Just Theatre. I was never scared. But what did this degree guarantee me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The title of BFA proves that I have an education and to me it means that I have gained the knowledge and understanding needed to begin this career.
I traveled to Moscow to study abroad, not really knowing what to expect, not knowing how safe it would be, not knowing who I would encounter, not knowing the language or even the history of the country. It proved to be an amazing experience, and I was right to not be scared.
I took on Paris, not exactly knowing what to expect either with only a little breadth of knowledge in their language. No translator. I wasn't get scared. We got by, and I proved to myself that I was more intelligent than I would ever give myself credit for.
I opted to move to New York. I trusted my new roommate to find an apartment that I wouldn't see until I moved in, and whom I would never meet until I moved in. I was never scared. I knew it would be ok. It was.
I moved to New York, one of the biggest cities in the U.S., moving in with someone I didn't know, knowing only 3 people in the city, and not having a job. I wasn't scared. It would all work out. It did.
I attended classes four nights a week; no guarantee that I will get a job after this conservatory is done, but I have faith. I'm not scared. I know I am/will be a better person/actor/artist because of it.

I have done a lot. I have dropped everything and started over on a number of occasions. I have not been scared. I guess mom and dad do all the fretting for me. You need to have faith. You need to be positive. You need to be optimistic. THIS will lead you somewhere. Negativity gets you nowhere except allowing you to be sucked into a black hole of despair and self grieving. That's not worth it. You have your whole life to live - wouldn't it be better to live it with a smile instead of just exist in it without being happy? Something to ponder... The point is: Don't be scared. Grab life by the reins and enjoy the ride. Defy gravity. Just Breathe...

I have tomorrow off so I think I'm going to spend the day cleaning the apartment like mad because it needs it. Julie and I are also going to get a few Christmas decorations to help with the Christmas spirit while we're listening to Christmas songs. (18 days...) Speaking of, go to youtube and type in Rascal Flatts -I'll Be Home For Christmas; this is one of the most beautiful songs I have heard in a long while. It gave me chills. Amazing.

Well, I'm off to another day of fun at Macy's. Keep the Faith. Spread the Love.